Toxic masculinity involves cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way. Originally meant to
include violence and aggression as a way of expressing oneself as a dominant man, this term has
been gaining traction in recent years by including mundane things as having a mustache, being a
heterosexual male, and portraying perceived strong masculine qualities (gym, etc.)
What is interesting about toxic masculinity is the basis upon which men can be attacked for
portraying it. Physical quality such as facial hair are things that man the genetically predisposed to
because, well....men.
The desire for some men to achieve bodybuilder physiques, whether it be from watching Hulk Hogan
ever wrestling or reading comic books, can’t just be simply ascribed to one’s personal desire for
aesthetics and health. No, it must be to be perceived as a domineering male. What if the word toxic
was taken out of the phrase? Do you have a problem with masculinity?
If the answer to that question is no, can men be men? What that means is that, we should allow men
the same freedom to express themselves as we do all genders. Not all men are a part of rape
culture. Not all men deserved to be labeled as predators seeking out prey, other genders. Can we
respect masculinity all the time and not one of the best serves us.
If your home was on fire, who would you call? If you are being attacked in the street, what type of car
would you flag down? If you are walking down the street and a group besides to rob you or worse,
what would you hope your partner would do in this situation? Please think about the images that just
came to your head as to who is saving the day. If you are like me, the image coming to your mind is a
man in uniform, well built, and in total control of the situation just by mere physical presence. But
this man does not stop at presence, they take action, and diffuse the situation.
So if we can accept that the masculinity we call toxic, is somewhat servile in some situations, who is
toxic? What if the word toxic was attributed to other groups of people? What if I wanted to say toxic
homosexuality, because of the perceived gay voice, walk, tight clothes, and every other stereotypical
normative ascribe to this group? Is it not wrong to label these people because of who they are and
their life choices and then demonize them for it? Can I say toxic femininity? Can we call out woman
for having hips and breasts, wearing makeup, and striking men in relationships because they know
that if a man hits back he is going to jail?
Sure, there are instances where a man behaves badly and needs to be called out for it. But to paint
all men with the same brush, is not only offensive and demonizing, it is also damaging to future
generations of men. Chivalry used to be considered a noble trait. But now opening the door for
someone behind you is considered a form of toxic masculinity, because I must believe that person
needed my help. What if.. and this is a stretch.. all I wanted to do was say “Here you go”?
The future of men it’s entirely dependent on how men are treated today treat Kings like kings and
bombs like bums. But understand that the two are not alike. By alienating men and telling them that
physical traits which are coded into and are not a choice, but a byproduct of thousands of years of
genetic evolution, is toxic we are teaching boys not to be boys. We are teaching boys to be
subservient, to give in to oppression, and not to act within reason. I don’t want war. I don't want littleo boys thinking that they have to grow up to be soldiers in order to fit the mold of a man. However, as men, you are the sum of your actions. If you do nothing, you are nothing.
What type of men do we need? We need the traditional protector. We need the father to stay in the
home and raise children. We need the responsible provider. We need the person who will act in the
face of danger and diffuse the situation. Is it only men that are capable of doing this? Absolutely not.
Let’s not make it men who are only incapable. Stay alert. Stay observant.
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