Dealing With Narcissism
Narcissism is a mental health condition that can be very difficult to deal with, both for the person who suffers from it and for those around them.
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They may also display abnormal and sometimes dangerous behaviors or seem out of touch with reality.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. It can cause problems in relationships, so it’s important to know what narcissists are like and how to deal with them.
In some cases, narcissists are able to hide their traits. They may be shy around other people and appear to be unemotional. However, if you notice these behaviors in someone who claims to be your friend or partner, it’s a sign that they are narcissistic.
According to therapists, people with narcissistic personality disorder tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance and require constant admiration. They may also have a desire for status, wealth and power. They may think that others are envious of them and feel entitled to what they have, and they might engage in jealousy behavior, such as stealing or downplaying another person’s achievements or accomplishments.
When dealing with a narcissist, you should avoid provoking them and arguing about things that are difficult to talk about. You should also try to stay calm and avoid triggering them by making negative comments, says therapist Rachel Manly.
Be clear when you need something from them and don’t give them any excuses for their behavior. You might feel that you’re being harsh, but narcissists can become upset and hurt if they don’t get their way.
You should also try to avoid mentioning their past and bringing up their childhood, Manly advises. If you do, narcissists will believe you are blaming them for something they did or didn’t do years ago, which can make them feel bad about themselves.
Narcissists are usually unaware of the pain they inflict on others, so gently point out their mistakes and let them know you are disappointed in them. You don’t have to go over old issues with them, but be clear about what you want and don’t forget to state your boundaries.
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements. They also have a hard time understanding that everyone doesn't see things the same way they do and are rarely apologetic for their actions.
They also feel that they deserve special treatment and privileges, so they will sidestep rules that would apply to other people. This is why narcissists often get away with a lot of bad behavior.
For example, they'll inflate their own accomplishments or fabricate stories about big events that never happened to make themselves look better. They also have a short temper, and they lash out when they think they're getting the shaft.
Moreover, they tend to have a lot of fears and anxieties that are deeply buried and repressed. These include fears of germs, losing money, being rejected or wrong, and feeling abandoned.
In contrast, normal people don't usually have these fears or anxieties. This is because they have a strong sense of self and know what they are good at.
Having a strong sense of self can help you defend yourself against the insults and projections of a narcissist. It also makes it easier for you to detach from their opinion and any desire to please them at the expense of yourself.
Narcissists lack empathy for others
The ability to recognize, understand and feel the emotions of others is a key element in empathy. It helps you empathize with people who have similar feelings and thoughts as you do, and it can be used to help you resolve conflict.
Narcissists don’t have this ability, so they are unable to connect with people. They often misread subtle facial expressions, and they are prone to ignoring or dismissing what other people are feeling.
They are also unable to see the good in situations. For example, if someone in their family has a serious illness, the narcissist may neglect them or treat them poorly, since they aren’t able to see that they are suffering.
These are all signs of a lack of empathy on the part of the narcissist. It can be difficult to know if you’re dating or living with a narcissist, but there are some things you can look for to determine if they lack empathy or not.
One way to tell if someone is a narcissist is that they have an inflated sense of self-importance. They think they are better than everyone else and they have more to offer.
Another indicator of narcissism is that they are prone to engaging in whirlwind romances. They might tell you how much they love you within the first month of your relationship, or they will focus on how compatible you are with them.
Regardless of their grandiose, fantasy-filled nature, narcissists have deep insecurities. These insecurities are the core of their narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They are fueled by fear and they tend to see everything in black and white.
Narcissists expect favorable treatment
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and expect favorable treatment.
If they feel their ego is bruised, a narcissist will lash out at other people to regain their own self-esteem. They may resort to bullying, shaming, or verbal abuse.
They can also get physical if they feel threatened or attacked. They'll scream, curse, and punch you in an effort to gain back their lost esteem.
Often, this type of narcissism can be hidden by the person who suffers from it. For example, they may have a good relationship with others but be extremely critical of them.
Another way narcissists get their jollies is by playing the victim. They'll often make up a story about someone who hurt them and tell it to everyone around them. This gives the narcissist some power over the victim, and they'll be able to keep them in line by making it sound like it's for their own good.
This kind of narcissism is very destructive to people's mental health. It can lead to depression and a host of other problems, says Newman.
A narcissist's main goal in life is to appear attractive, successful, and superior to everyone else. Their appearances matter a great deal to them, and they're constantly looking for ways to improve them.
When they're dating, a narcissist's main priority is to find an attractive partner who can keep up with them in status and appearance. This can be done by exaggerating their achievements or telling stories about how well they've taken care of their partners.
They're also very picky about what their partners put in their mouths and how much money they spend on them. This can cause serious issues in the relationship if they're not careful.
Narcissists put others down
Narcissists often put others down in order to reinforce their own self-importance. They do this by insulting others or by blaming them for their feelings.
The narcissist’s behavior may seem harmless, but it’s actually very harmful to the people around them. It is a form of mental health abuse, which can cause serious damage to the victim’s life.
According to Margalis Fjelstad, a clinical psychologist and author of Healing from a Narcissist Relationship and Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get on With Your Life, these behaviors are often fueled by a deep sense of insecurity.
Despite their inflated sense of self-importance, narcissists are very vulnerable to criticism and attacks. They can be triggered and lose their temper anytime they feel their vulnerabilities are exposed.
Another way narcissists put down their victims is through gossip and misinformation. They tell over-inflated stories that are designed to gain sympathy, draw you into their lives, and reel you in.
These stories can be anything from telling you about a messy divorce to an abusive relationship with their parents. Often, these stories are designed to make you think they trust you and that you are the only person who knows the truth about their situation.
While these stories can be upsetting, they don’t reflect the victim’s worthiness and should never be taken as an insult. Instead, the victim should respond to the narcissist’s behavior with love and care, rather than defensiveness.
In addition, narcissists often lack empathy for other people’s feelings and thoughts. They are rarely apologetic or remorseful for their actions, and they don’t understand how other people feel. They also have a warped sense of reality that makes them believe that everyone is out to get them.
The best way to deal with a person like this is not to engage them at all. Your self respect and self worth should never be determined by another person. Do not let someone's circumstances dictate how they treat you.
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